33-year-old mom forces her 14-year-old insomniac sister to watch her 3-month-old baby at home alone while she works all day: 'Both my parents work, so I’m left alone with the baby for hours almost every day.'

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  • 01

    AITA for sneaking out and causing my sister to lose her job?

    My sister is 33 (female), and I'm 14 (female). She had a baby three months ago.
  • 02
    I just got out of school for the summer and really wanted to rest, but my sister decided she wants to finally get a job. Now she's making me babysit my niece. I have zero experience with babies, and I get overstimulated easily. It's been really hard for me.
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    I asked her if she could put the baby in daycare or something, but she refused. I decided to just sk it up, but it's been exhausting. I have insomnia, and it's hard to sleep when I feel like I need to be awake 24/7 to watch the baby. I'm constantly scared something might happen if I fall asleep.
  • 05
    I told my mom how I felt, but she said I'd just have to deal with it. Both my parents work, so I'm left alone with the baby for hours almost every day.
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    A few days ago, I got tired of everything. The night before my sister got ready for work, I snuck out and went to my friend's house so I wouldn't have to deal with it and could finally get some sleep. When I came home that
  • 08
    morning after I saw all the missed calls and messages and my mom and sister were really mad at me. They said I was being selfish and lazy. My sister even quit her job because I told her I'd leave again if she kept making me babysit.
  • 09
    I definetly felt bad after It feels like my whole family is barely talking to me except for my dad and even he said I shouldn't have done that. (Also i love my niece this isn't hate to her shes adorbs)
  • 10
    (A little edit for more info- I see my dad being brought up a bit but he works in different places with steel work so he's very rarely home but we do call often, my nieces father doesn't want anything to do with her or my sister it's been that way since she was pregant anyway so she left him and moved back in with us,
  • 11
    she had a job before but quit to take care of the baby when she was a newborn and up until now of course, Also her and my mom work at the same place so they're both night shift jobs and they're tired when they come home from working so I usually have to watch my niece a bit longer so they can rest when they get home since they expect me to sleep
  • 12
    while I'm babysitting but I just can't I'm so paranoid something could happen, even when I'm feeding the baby and she coughs even a little or if she's sleeping too hard I panic. And honestly I didn't even know daycare wasn't free until I read these comments | thought maybe it was like public school sorry)
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    LA
  • 14
    cat-lover76 You're NTA, you did what you did out of desperation. Sit down with your mom and dad and say calmly, "Sister is 33, she chose to have a child, and that means it is her responsibility to figure out childcare instead of trying to steal my childhood from me. You are being irresponsible parents by allowing her to ab e me in this way. I will not be babysitting again, and if I'm left alone with the child again, I will call the police and report child abandonment."
  • 15
    Irrelevant Necessity Absolutely. It s ks that a child has to be their own advocate, but that's a perfect response all around.
  • 16
    scoschooo The parents are the ones being ab_ive. Why would they let their 14 year old have to watch a baby 24/7 and why are they so clueless how hard it is for OP?
  • 17
    chop1125 They are clueless because it is easier on them to demand something from the 14 year old rather than to insist that the 33 year old actually parent their child.
  • 18
    AverageSizedCanoe I would be shocked if it were not that the expectation was that OP babysit so the sister could financially contribute to the household. This is not right, but let's be real, a lot of dysfunction typically happens when money is tight. Hopefully there's some positive resolution for OP.
  • 19
    spikus93 I don't know about ending that on a threat that could harm both the child and the family irreparably. A lot of strong wording here that is accusatory too. I think this is just going to be an escalation and OP's life will probably get worse from a negative reaction to this. They'll start with "my roof, my rules" and then try to punish OP for not caving to the demands.
  • 20
    I'm not saying do nothing, but if the goal here is communication, I worry that this is not going to be effective because everyone already is mad at OP and if the first resistance OP puts up is "well actually, I'm the victim and it's your fault" (even if that's the truth), then they will likely react negatively to it, because they were already mad and this will feel like "making excuses" to someone like that.
  • 21
    Total_Poet_5033 People are acting as if this is just babysitting, but it's really not! All the adults here are failing both of these children.
  • 22
    donovansgirl NTA. If you didn't make the baby, the baby isn't your responsibility. Your sister made the baby, caring for the baby is her responsibility, and it's her responsibility to make sure substitute caregivers are willing to provide that care and are fairly compensated. What was her plan when school starts again? Make you drop out? Your parents are also AH because they should have never allowed this to happen.
  • 23
    judgiestmcjudgerton My family did this. I was struggling at age 15, and my sister was a brand new single mom at 21 (at the same time). My mom didn't want me to live at home so she told my sister I would stay with the baby at her house and live there. So I did. When my niece was 3 I started putting myself through night classes so I could graduate high school. My family didn't come. I love my niece but my siblings are all quite wealthy now and no one understands why I struggle still.
  • 24
    JEmrck 100% NTA. To expect a 14 year to be the sole care provider for an infant is insane. Was she paying you? If not, then you are not obligated to take care of her child. She is the mother, she is the one who needs to figure it out. Girl, go enjoy your summer!
  • 25
    strangespecies NTA. You clearly (and repeatedly) communicated your difficulties.

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